My parents ran a small businesses in Spain, back in the olden days. They started out when Franco, the national-socialist dictator, was still in power. They operated successfully for almost four decades. During that time, Spain transitioned peacefully from a dictatorship to a democratic monarchy ruled by a moderate centrist party. The country grew to become a key member of the European Union, adopted the Euro and morphed quickly from a very Catholic, very traditional society to a modern, secular society, warts and all.
Most of the beliefs and principles that were the norm during my parent's childhood became more than just obsolete over the years, they were literally turned upside down by a sea of change. My parents lived through what the Chinese would call "interesting times".
Married life in general is not easy, but if you add the pressure of running a cash-strapped small business as a couple during changing times, the mixture is a pretty potent stressor. Be it as it may, I grew up watching a man and a woman making important decisions on a daily basis with a similar level of competence. So I grew up believing that men and women think in fairly similar ways.
As my boys were growing up, I noticed how their female peers were more socially aware and more articulate earlier in life. My boys had a more physical orientation and were more direct interpersonally. This simpler way of being gave them a more peaceful, less stressed out attitude towards life. I remember one of my boys patting his belly, all proud, after a big meal, while a little girl looked at him in disbelief. It was clear she felt pot bellies were nothing to be proud of.
It seems that boys do not feel they have to comply with as many rules of behavior as girls do. Why boys feel that way beats me. We are two very different kind of creatures from the very beginning. God must have a good sense of humor and is probably having a great time about this right at this moment.
Here are just a few examples of how men and women see the world in a different light:
Statement: Some situation is bothering me.
Man's response - This is what you do to fix it, blah, blah, blah,
Woman's response - Why do you want to FIX my problems? I just want you to LISTEN and understand how it makes me feel!!
Statement : I am going downstairs to the shop to do something.
If the man says that it means: I'm telling you so you know where I am.
If the woman says that it means: I'm telling you this so you can come over to visit later.
Situation: A clothing bin appears by the side of the stairs.
Man's thinking - Oops, walk around it, you almost hit it!.
Woman's thinking - Wasn't it clear that you had to take the clothes bin up the stairs? You almost fell over the darn thing!!
Situation: A discussion about a subject.
If the man says fine: Boy, I am tired of this conversation, do whatever you want.
If the woman says FINE!: Go ahead and do it, BUT you'll be in trouble with me later!
Of all things that are different between man and women, some we should celebrate (smiley face). But for the rest, you should truly be aware of FINE. Let me tell you, I know, I have been married for over two decades. FINE is the last thing you want to hear at the end of a discussion with your wife.
Be afraid brother, be very afraid. FINE! is not fine.
:-)
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