Women, men and the pursuit of happiness

My older brother is an accomplished oil painter. Since he was a kid, he spent most of his free time making sketches of all kinds of stuff that happened around him.  Almost too much of a good thing, specially if you were the target of his sketches while picking your nose.

My brother would look at a landscape for a couple of minutes, in this special "broad view mode" of his and days later, he could make an oil painting from memory with an incredible level of detail.  If I stood next to him, my attention would go to the one or two distinctive features of that landscape. Maybe that interesting tree by the farmhouse, the patterns of the clouds or some other remarkable feature.  

Women use this type of "whole landscape view" when they consider whether they are happy. The whole landscape needs to be in good order.  The house needs to be clean, the children need to do well and be healthy. The husband needs to be attentive to her, but only when she wants attention. Extended family relations need to be peaceful, work needs to be under control, etc.  There is a lot of nuance and details to this broad vision concept of happiness.  

Men use a more "focused-on-one-thing" view towards happiness.  Heck, it's Saturday morning, don't need to go to work, I have my leather couch and my laptop and I'm blogging.  Life is good.  

Manliness is self satisfied.  A guy, in a natural state, is a happily peaceful creature. Pretty much like an African lion, men are happy to lay down under the tree perfectly at ease until it's time to get into a fight, or it's time to eat, mate or hang out with the other lions. Life is good. 

As a norm, women are more broad vision, multitasking type creatures.  It is a more indirect approach that sips into the female communication style.  There is never a single focus answer to the question "What's for dinner?" It's never just "chicken", it is more along the lines of "Oh my god, you won't believe what happened today, I had a coupon for chicken at "Stop & Shop" that expired today so when I got there, you won't believe who I saw..." type answer.  

The single-focus male brain gets overloaded at a certain point and disconnects.  Somewhere around the middle of the answer, the guy realizes that that new push-up bra she's wearing looks pretty good with that blouse, then he goes about his business, not really sure about what's for dinner.  

Women, men and happiness?  Yes, it is possible, but it is not the being in a couple that is the source of happiness. Gender based styles and approaches are so different between men and women that they will always be a source of tension.  Creative tension at best, the type of difference that will compliment your point of view and give you a better perspective on things. Pure drudgery and conflict at worse. 

Happiness is definitely an inside job.  A happy couple is generally made up of two independently happy people that are together because they have a common broad vision about life and a good balance of activities that they do as a couple and individually.  It is that individual light of goodness that attracts mates to each other and is the starting basis for something better together.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=yZcWn48GoGw