His initial amusement at the fact that I have four kids turned into a monologue about the differences between Spain and the US. He concluded that in the US we must have excellent government subsidies to give incentives to parents to have more children than in Europe. The comment shocked me a little bit. For me, having children is a private matter and has anything to do with government or financial incentives.
Is through this type of exchanges that I realize how differently people in Europe and the US see the most basic things. What simple concept explains the large differences between societies on each side of the Atlantic? I would say the concept of "rugged individualism" from the pioneers defines America, while the French Revolution motto of "freedom, equality and solidarity", defines continental Europe.
Individualism promotes larger businesses and smaller governments, lower taxation so that people have a choice on how to spend their own money, the use of handguns for personal if not societal protection, work ethics based on the drive to be self reliant, religion as an individual choice and a personal relationship with god, etc. Very many cultural differences start with an orientation, either to favor the individual or the whole of society.
Older people in the US fight with their families to continue to lead an independent life until the end, even though they enjoy contact with other family members they treasure their freedom. Children don't stay home until they get married, they leave to pursue their interests as soon as they finish school. Nothing is more unappealing to an American young woman than to find out that her date still lives with his mother. In Europe it is common to live with your parents well into your twenties and thirties, absolutely no stigma.
What shapes the American thinking? Three main influences:
The environment in the States, with lower population density and single family homes. In Europe people mainly live in apartment buildings where most matters are decided by the neighbor community. At home, I make choices that affect only me for better or for worse. I make my own bed and lie in it.
The second influence comes from the constant fight with nature, the "rugged" part. I rely on electricity from my own generator. Utilities are not smart enough in the Northeast to provide power during a storm some of the times. The water comes from my own well. We grow some of our own food, a tiny portion. Self reliance is a little addictive and the older I get, the most I would like to be totally self sufficient, but I digress...
The third influence is having to rely on the rest of my family to deal with the occasional brutal weather. Relying on each other under stressful circumstances bonds us and makes us closer together. This naturally leads to the concept of a circle of trust. Who else beside your family would you rely on in case of trouble? Character is important in this harsher world. You look for reliable, predictable people in your life. People who would not lose their cool in an emergency situation.
A component of the "rugged" personality is a strong and stable emotional tone. Americans are drawn towards the calm, manly, plain spoken leader with a bias for action. Europeans are more interested in intellectual prowess and credentials. Leadership in the States is more about personal power than about credentials. At the end of the day, that hurricane, blizzard or tornado is not going to be too impressed by your credentials but by how prepared you are to meet it.
Maybe the environment is the key element that shapes our views. Those views could be an adaptation of our thinking for survival in a certain set of circumstances. We tend to be proud of our beliefs and some of us ( mainly in Congress :-) ), think that their point of view is absolutely and completely right. If beliefs are just adaptations to an environment, then they should be flexible and change when circumstances change.
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