The unbearable lightness of being

About a month after September 11, I took my family to a pumpkin farm, like we usually do during late October.  Apple cider, hay rides and pumpkin donuts.  You can't beat that, specially if you bring along little children that will tremendously enjoy the whole thing.

It was a beautiful fall day, bright sun, no wind, perfect temperature to be outside.  The place was packed, but the crowd was in a more silent, sober mood.  I noticed that everyone was more polite than normal.  Strangers made and sustained eye contact a little longer.  Through the 9/11 tragedy, we had discovered each other's presence at a human level. We all felt closer to our family, neighbors, coworkers, even complete strangers.  The 2001 Holiday Season was for me the most endearing time I can remember. We were all completely and totally thankful of being with each other. 

Tragedy can increase our fears and make us even more suspicious and disengaged from each other.  It can also help us see more clearly through the fog of  life.   Tragedy makes us focus on people and the quality of the bonds we establish with them.  Is in our connectedness with each other that we find a purpose to life that is more lasting than ourselves.  We become part of the endless river of life by becoming less self centered. This is the one true source of happiness, not subject to chance and circumstance.

As these tragedies are becoming more common, it makes me wonder why.  Mental health issues aside, are we part of a society that fosters connectedness with each other, or are we just dehumanizing ourselves by treating each other as objects?  Do we have the courage to welcome a stranger with a smile, or are we too scared by the unknown?  Do we ever stop to wonder if this person, that we just superficially know, is happy, can we say a kind word? Do we even say hello to our coworkers in the morning?  How come that highly unbalanced human beings can walk among their close friends and relatives and no one notices there is something severely wrong?

As a society we spend most of our energy pitting ourselves against each other in this toxic mixture of materialistic competition, envy and distrust.  When we isolate ourselves from others, we also isolate ourselves from our higher purpose. We create what some theologians describe as hell.  A place where our connection with God is severed.